Insulting Car Salesmen Slang
My friend Len Penzo recently mentioned “Grape” as a slang term for a clueless car buyer. I’d never heard the term, but was inspired to dig up some other insulting car salesman terminology jargon for your reading enjoyment.
Car Salesman Terms for Customers and their Trade-ins
Beback: A customer who doesn’t buy and swears they’ll “be back”.
Babysitter: A co-signer on a loan.
Blue Hair or Silver Hair: A senior citizen.
Bomb: An old car with no value.
Bunny: A customer who does not negotiate very well and is taken in for huge profits.
Buried: Describes a customer who owes far more than their trade-in is worth.
Crop duster: A car that blows smoke out of the tailpipe.
Deadbeat or Roach: A customer with a bad credit history.
A “Get Me Done”: A customer with bad credit that is more concerned with getting financed than the vehicle they buy.
Grinder, Short Arm, or Chisler: A customer who spends hours haggling over a small amount of money.
Lay down or Grape: A customer with no spine who says yes to everything. They “lay down” and get run over or crushed like a grape.
Maypops: Bald tires.
One Legger: Usually refers to a husband without his wife.
Player: A customer with a good credit history.
Quarterback, Second Baseman, or Third Baseman: Someone a buyer brings along to coach them or help negotiate a deal.
Sled, Turd, Clam, Toad, or Rat: An old trade-in which is banged up and worth little or nothing.
Slide Ruler: A customer who is a specification nut. He may even have a “slide ruler” or pocket calculator to calculate his own sales tax.
Stroker: A customer who gives the impression that he wants to buy a car, but doesn’t have the means to do so.
Tire Kicker, Blower, or Rubberneck: A customer who has no intention of buying.
UFO: U Frickin’ Own it! (PG-13 version) Said to customers that want to return a vehicle.
And here are a few more unusual ones:
Squirrels: customers with no loyalty to one salesperson
Disneyland shoppers or bumblebees: customers that can’t decide between three or more cars
Strokes: time-wasting shoppers
Bogues: same as strokes
Ghost: customer with no credit score
Fairy: pipe smoking, folder carrying, internet customer
And Mike’s (and my own) favorite…
“RUNNER !!!”: This is what is yelled when a customer gets up from the negotiating table and proceeds to walk out the door. The customer gets up and the salesperson says, “We got a RUNNER.”
Know any car salesman slang that I’ve missed?