5 Reasons Why the Walking Dead Sucks

walking dead cast

I’m huge fan of the zombie genre which is why I write about it every Halloween.   It started out mildly relevant to this site when I identified the best cars to survive a zombie apocalypse and then I just kinda rolled with it after that.

This year I feel compelled to talk about a mainstream zombie darling that I completely disagree with, The Walking Dead.  I admit, I watch the show, but it still sucks.  Here’s why:

  1. The show is soooo freaking slow.  Zombie slow.  I’ve actually starting fast-forwarding every time Lori, Rick, Andrea, or Dale starts talking (especially Dale). And I have not missed a single story line.  Not a single one. I’ve heard some people say they love it for the same reason I hate it.  Because of the interpersonal drama.  I’m ok with having a good story line, but this is torture.  All I think during the dramatic interpersonal scenes is that the producers are trying to save money in their special effects budget.
  2. The group stays in one place too long.   The group was at the farm forever, and nothing happened at the farm!  Unless you consider 5 episodes of watching Carl in a sickbed as something happening. Again, this seems like a budget issue and they only want to pay for a few sets.
  3. Not only is the show slow, so are the zombies.  Sure, it's mildly entertaining when someone gets trapped in an RV with a corpse, but it’s just not the same intensity as a 28 weeks later style zombie sprinting at you full speed.  I wanna see a show called “The Running Dead”. Walking Dead types of zombies just don't bring their A-game.
  4. Too many direct hits.  When the farmhouse was overrun and the group tried to defend themselves they suddenly became veteran Army Rangers. Every bullet fired was a direct headshot.  Are you kidding me?
  5. It’s missing many zombie genre staples.  There are a few tried and true story elements that make for good zombie entertainment.  But we haven’t seen hardly any of these yet:
    1. Roving military factions, good or bad.
    2. Heavy weapons.  I understand zombies wiped out the US but I’m sure we put up a fight.  Where are the helicopters fire-bombing towns?  Where are the tanks or hummers?  How come no one has found a machine gun?
    3. Really cool fortifications.  A booby trapped home defense system or cars setup with rebar to plow through zombies.  Give me a Dawn of the Dead bus anytime.
    4. Cannibals that have decided to live off the living.
    5. The religious cult that sacrifices regular people to a caged zombie as tributes.
    6. Criminals surviving in a prison.  Ok, I guess this one is coming in the next season.

So why do I keep watching it?  Because there are no other zombie shows on TV and I’ll take what I can get.

If you hate the Walking Dead too, please tell me why in the comments or read why other people share my disgust.

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